Wednesday, August 31, 2011

You HAVE a Say!!

You know, over the years I never voted in elections regularly. I truly believed that I never had an affect on the outcome of the election. "How could just ONE vote make a difference?" I used to think... And to be honest, it may seem like one vote by itself could never make that difference that I wanted it to, but what if I looked at this from a different point of view?

Instead of looking at it from the result of my vote, what if I voted and didn't think about the outcome? Surely there are areas in your life that you have done this, right?

For example, what if I were to decide to lose weight, and I never looked at the scale or result. I simply just took care of what needed to be done, and let the outcome take care of itself. -I bet you that most people who stop their dieting New Year's Resolutions in early February never thought of it that way, because they were looking to the result, and the outcome wasn't happening fast enough so they quit.

Yet we always look to the result, and it prevents us from getting there because it's usually not happening in our time frame (which is always completely unreasonable) So in many ways, we sabotage our results by looking at them before we even do the work to get them! Then obstacles appear, and if we were just fixated on doing the work in front of us, it wouldn't matter, right? But we now become completely discouraged by these obstacles, or life happening to us. Sound familiar?

Of course it does, you're human. It happens to ALL of us. You're no different than me, and I'm certainly no different than you.

But what if I told you that you had a say in the matter? What if I told you that you could change these results by simply changing your view about them?

In EVERY situation, you have a say in the matter. Whether life happens to you, or whether you happen in life, you have a say. You will have a much more significant contribution to the result you want by HOW YOU REACT to every situation. -THAT is your say...

You can take this say in the matter to any level, or any situation because it is your belief system that is talking. -It's certainly not that annoying voice inside your head that is always telling you the negative stuff as if it's guiding you to a fruitful and loving life, is it? In case you were wondering if you have that voice, stop for a second a listen. ...

Yep, it was that voice that you just heard that said, "I don't have a voice" or the one that said, "I wonder if I have one?" This voice will be with you til the day you die, and it will never shut up. But you have a say in that matter too...

You can try to control the results of your life, or you can always believe that you have a say in the matter of how it occurs to you. Life will occur the same way to many people, and yet there are many different interpretations about how it occurs by the meaning you give it.

And the meaning you give it, is all you can change from a situation you think you cannot change...

Monday, August 29, 2011

My Tranformation Part Deux

So I wrote a blog about transforming my life on May 1.

I can't believe that was almost 4 months ago... So much has happened in my life in those 4 months that I simply cannot think of where to begin. My life has become wonderful again, and I can't remember where or when I last felt this good about where my life is going.

In short, from the May 1 blog that I posted, I finished my first draft of my novel. I was introduced to a book publicist that has put 68 books on the New York Times Best Sellers list, and I am in the process of preparing my first draft into a series of re-writes and I will have my novel published in the New Year. Yay!! This was such a huge breakthrough for me to say that I have written a book. And do you know why this has been possible? It's because I had a powerful reason WHY the message of my novel needs to get out to people. Every time I thought that what I was writing was stupid, or that "nobody would read this", or "this will never get published", I took a step back and realized that the message in my novel is of the utmost importance for people in life to get connected to their own lives. I really believe that everyone on this earth should take the message of my novel to heart. It will make a world of difference in your and your loved ones lives. That reason alone, is why I was able to finish this book, despite all the obstacles that got in my way over a 2 year period.

I have really changed my body in 4 months. I have dropped about 10 lbs, but I have added much more muscle to my frame and I feel good about being me again. I have much more energy and I feel confident about myself and my body.

I have absolutely changed my perspective about the people and relationships in my life. I realized that I was the common denominator in each and every situation in my life, and I have taken ownership of it. I no longer am interested in being victimatic and allowing life to "happen" to me. I now am committed into making life happen the way I want it to occur.

This next year of my life is going to be simply amazing. I am committed to making a difference in my friends and families lives, and I cannot wait to see the transformation in this process. And that's really what this has all been, is a process. I am still working it like a process, and I hope to see you there along with me.

If you are interested in transforming your life, and being all that you want to be, I would love it if you would contact me. -Even if I don't know you. I am committed to surrounding myself with powerful people and making a difference in life. Anything else is simply a waste of time and effort in your one chance in life. So live it powerfully!

Contact me at if you want some of this ;)

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

What Men Want to Say to Women

I think I have always been aware that I am a little more emotional than the average straight guy (had to get that in there...) The women in my life have always teased me about it, and I've also heard it from my mother as well, but for the most part, I love being this in touch with my emotional side.

For the periods of my life when I have not been in a relationship, I have found a real loss of power in sharing myself with that partner who seems to inspire me to tell her things I reserve for "the right one"

There are moments in the day where I will look at people in love, and be slightly envious that they get to stare into each other's eyes and share that moment. I would like to steal it for the briefest of moments just to feel that whole body rush which tells your gut that "this is right" I don't have a mindset that has to be justified if I love someone, it is just a way of being. My intuition is satisfied and it lets me know this.

At times like this, it is "safe" for me to say things like you as a woman want to hear. I really only want to say them because I want to inspire and make you feel loved. Of course I mean them, but if I were to say them, and you had no reaction, I would not continue to say it. It's really your reaction, and your way of being that makes us as men want to continue to give you compliments. Unfortunately, these are conditional. If you don't take a compliment well, chances are good that you are going to be fighting for them in the future.

But, oh the magic when I send you that message of love and you stare me in the eyes and just simply say, "Thank You" -It makes my head spin, and I see visions of you and I making out like teenagers on a big King Sized bed with 700+ thread count sheets.

When I haven't seen you in a while, and I see you walking in with a larger than life smile that I think is only reserved for you and me, it makes me want to move mountains for you. It creates such great energy that I want to pass it on to you, and tell you all the things that you yearn to hear. All the things about how I value your friendship, input in life, your view, your way of being and not want to change you, but love you for who you really are in your life at the moment.

This will change, I know... But for the moment, let me close my eyes and just take it all in because I can't help smiling!

Ah, you people in love. You're simply wonderfully blessed...

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

The Western Wall

There was an old man who without fail would pray at the Western Wall in Jerusalem every day. He did this routinely over a period of 50 years.

At the same time, everyday, this man would pray at the sacred wall and when he was finished, he would quietly leave and he on his way.

One day, a journalist decided to approach this man and ask him what he was praying for for 50 years.

He approached the man and asked him, "Sir, what do you pray for that you keep coming back every day and you have been doing this for 50 years?"

The old man answered, "I pray that all the Jews, Muslims and Christians might simply just get along and not fight, and just be content that we all serve our God."

"Do you think your God hears you?" asked the reporter

"Yes." said the old man emphatically "I truly believe he hears me. However, this has not changed our situation in Jerusalem, and for 50 years I feel like I might as well be talking to a wall..."

Saturday, August 13, 2011

Why You Love the Person You Are With

I have spent a seemingly endless amount of time reviewing areas in my life that I have been "stuck" or felt "stuck". What I realized was that if I had changed my view to something outside of my own, I would've been able to troubleshoot my way into a clearer path.

As it occurred to me, an area I looked at was relationships with my significant others (SO's) I realized that although I thought I loved them for who they were, I was always trying to change them to suit me, rather than allowing them to be empowered for who they really are. Certainly we are all hard-wired to want our own way, but we only ever see our own agenda in everything, and it usually shows up in an unworkable relationship. Someone once told me the old saying, "A person convinced against their will, is of the same opinion still" This brought new meaning of how I was always trying to fit my square peg in a round hole. Sometimes, I got my way, but when it really came down to it, I had a terrible fit, and usually spent a lot of time trying to "make it fit" when it really wasn't a match.

In terms of my own relationships, I see that if I had empowered the person I loved to be the best person that they could be, rather than always trying to get them to do things my way, I would've brought a new view and an area of workability to the relationship. The simple reason that a person in their comfort zone will certainly always be more adapt to contributing positively than a person who is disgruntled. -This is when the complaining, frustration and nagging always rear their ugly heads, and the situation is always a no-win for everyone involved, right?

Yet we are all hard wired to do this. Why is that?

Why can't we simply understand that each person that we encounter is always going to do things their way, and just accept them the way they are? We try to validate ourselves, and often do this by invalidating them in the process, again creating a lose-lose situation.

This is often the process of unworkability in our lives.

We are more prone to be "Right" or validated or justified in our lives that all of the cost of these feelings is unworkability in everything from our finances, personal growth, relationships, careers, and the list goes on. And then the struggle gathers momentum...

Sound familiar?

So I've really come to the belief that instead of finding the "perfect" mate, that I will be looking to love someone for WHO they are, and their character traits, and NOT what they do for me, or how they make ME feel.

Usually, you chose a mate that shares your machinery, and if I empower that person, I create a loving space of allowing them the freedom to live their life of contribution and passion.

And I would love to live with anyone who can live their life powerfully this way, wouldn't you?