Victims of Sexual and Domestic Abuse

It's been an entire week of brave women coming out from the hands of Jian Ghomeshi's abuse. After the first 4 women came out with their stories, the proverbial snowball has ensued. Now, you will see woman after woman coming out sharing their stories, and experiences at the hands of Ghomeshi. Now the message about abuse is starting to be understood. 

The message is this: Abuse of any kind is not acceptable, in any manner of form. But it is up to us all to make it safe for the people who have been abused to come forward. Come forward, if not for you, than for the future people who will fall under the same abuse you suffered.

When I saw this twitter message today, I was reminded of a great learning moment that I want to use as a parallel to this story.

A great teacher, and friend of mine once showed me the way to overcome "Stage fright."

I'm paraphrasing here, but the premise of this is that the word is actually misleading. The fright really has nothing to do with the stage. Nobody is afraid of a stage, which is what the fear is linked to in language. It turns out, the only reason why people are afraid, or get nervous of public speaking, is because they are afraid of the audience's judgement of them.

We get terrified of the projected judgement of what the audience will think of us, our message, or how we will be perceived. Their judgement is so powerful that it paralyzes us. It actually makes our mouth dry, makes us shake, or stutter. There are countless physiological traits that happen to us when we get nervous. This is all because of our perceived fear of what has yet to happen.

The people who have been able to master stage fright have done so by having a belief system that their message is bigger than they are. The concept is that their message is so important that it doesn't matter what the audience thinks of them.

The example my friend gives is that if you had to stand up in front of 5,000 people to speak, you would be noticeably nervous. However, if someone told you that you had to get up to the front of 5,000 people to tell them that there was a fire, and they had to calmly exit the room, the nervousness would be much less. Because the message of saving lives is much more important than the thought of how the crowd would judge you.

This message is the same with sexual, domestic or any abuse. It amazes me that the judgement of how the world will treat, or shame us for our story or experience, that it stops us from telling it for the fear of what the world will think or judge us.

So if you are ever thinking about not sharing your experience, understand that although it happened to you, the power in the experience is in sharing it, is that you are creating awareness so that it won't happen again. To another wife, mother, daughter, or child. If the abuse is bigger than you, it lands on the cause, and not in being a victim, because there's no positive power in being the victim.

Some might say that it won't make a difference in sharing your story or experience. They might say that it's an ocean, and they are a single drop of water in comparison. The ocean is so vast, and they are just a drop of water.

But I say share, tell, speak! The more you share, the more people will identify with your story. Then the ocean won't seem so big.

After all, what is an ocean, but a multitude of drops...

Jian Ghomeshi and the Aftermath Part 2

Yesterday I wrote about Jian Ghomeshi, and his case against the CBC.

If you missed it, you can read it here:

http://chuckbastie.blogspot.ca/2014/10/jian-ghomeshi-cbc-and-sexual-assault.html

After I wrote that, other women came out of the woodwork thanks to the bravery of the first 4 women who have accused Jian of not playing nicely in the sandbox with others. I think it's nothing less than courageous for these women to have stepped up against the former CBC giant.

Now there seems to be so much overwhelming circumstantial evidence against Ghomeshi that it seems insurmountable. These things have a way of working themselves out for the good, and now we're starting to see that.

Today, I've had an overwhelming response asking me why I knew more women would come out of the closet, so to speak. So here are some of the reasons why this all seemed odd to me...

First of all, the first tell tale sign something was wrong on my radar was the fact that Ghomeshi comes out on Facebook with a disclaimer about his sexual appetites. First of all, men don't generally get to that vulnerability platform. Even the most boastful, cocky men who Love to talk about their sexual conquests don't behave this way.

The first red flag to me was that he was trying to beat the clock, and he needed to get the first punch in. Of course, he started well. He appealed to the human freedom card. The "what happens in my bedroom is none of the government, or the CBC's business" heartstrings.

Powerful.

We want to believe him in the first place, because he is a celebrity that we might look up to. We also might want to believe him because we think gold digging, crazy women are at the helm trying to take a good man down. Yes, it's easy to be a hater against crazy women who can't control their emotions, right? Very powerful indeed.

It's also powerful because sex is such a private and judgemental subject that we immediately connect with Jian. We empathize with him because we would want the same consideration in our own private lives. Something as intimate and private as our sex lives is off-limits to everyone not already existing in our bedroom. The people inside of our bedroom are safe, the people outside of that are not. The details of our sex lives are probably amongst the most vulnerable and guarded secrets of who we are, and who we are not. So Jian sharing little trade secrets that he likes to get down and dirty with handcuffs, whips and domination toys isn't something you really talk about at parties. (well, not THOSE parties...)

The other give-away to me was the manner in how Ghomeshi described his sexual preferences. People into that S&M shit aren't really wishy-washy about it. Its a lifestyle to most of them, and it is that way because they have some really dark issues inside of them which haven't been addressed. So to me, the fact that he was talking about it was off-side.

It's kind of like the rule of Fight Club:

I also knew that this is an illness. Ghomeshi has deeply rooted issues as to why he wants to beat females. It's not isolated to any one female in general. It's all of them whom he is attracted to. You might also ask why he chooses Women, and not men? Because Women are less of a threat, and he needs to feel in control, and men are generally stronger. Besides, it's also a sexual primal feeling that he associates it with, so he has to be attracted to the person.

So what happens now? Now you will see shit go down...

My guess is that hundreds of Women will now come out of the woodwork. So many that it will make Tiger Woods seem like a saint. This guy's sexual preferences and past will be pasted on every blog, paper, radio and TV show in the country.

He will eventually have to throw himself before the mercy of the land and courts by admitting he has a problem, and seeking help for that problem since it has landed him at rock bottom. He will be stripped of his celebrity status, will almost certainly serve time in jail, face civil suits and have to rebuild his life. Where as he was once The King of Spain, now he will eat Humble Pie.

But here's the thing we all want to be clear about. You are right about one thing Jian: What you do in the bedroom IS your business, and nobody else's. Not the government's, not the CBC, and you should never be fired from your job for what happens inside the 4 walls of your bedroom.

With one exception: The hurting and abusing/shaming living beings, in the name of you getting off.

Yeah, we all have a problem with people who do that. Especially when those beings are Women who have given you the most vulnerable thing they possess; the safety and trust of their emotions and feelings inside of the intimacy of sex. It's a piece of their soul that they are offering to share with you.

If you choose to hurt that Woman, (and it is a choice) you will scar her for life. She will never be the same person every again with anyone, ever again. The fact that you would do that to another human being all in the name of getting off, is to me, a sickness.

I sincerely hope you get the treatment you need. But more so, I hope these Women can gather the support and Love that they will need from all of us, to not see your face in their heads anymore. It is my wish for them that they are able to forgive and release you and find peace once again.

Then we will forget you, and people like you, and embrace the Women who need our support so that their healing can begin.

Jian Ghomeshi The CBC, and Sexual Assault Accusations

There's a lot of media going on about the alleged sexual assault, and firing of Jian Ghomeshi from the CBC.

I read Jian's statement that he released a couple days ago on Facebook, and I thought it was pretty incredible.

I thought it was incredible because it never ceases to amaze me that some celebrities think they are entitled to the same amount "freedom" as commoners.

But first let me explain what I mean by freedom...

Jian explained in his statement that what happens in his bedroom is his business, and nobody else's. Not the government, the CBC, or anyone else. And he's right about that. He has the freedom to do whatever the hell he wants inside of the 4 walls of his bedroom.

However, there is a difference between freedom and accountability or impact.

For example, freedom of speech means that you can say what you want to say. However, the impact of you exercising that right doesn't deflect from the impact of it. When you say something hurtful, you may have the right, but there is going to be an impact and accountability. People like Jian seem to confuse exercising the right, with not having an impact.

So sure, Jian. You have the right to get down and nasty in your sex life. It's completely your business and right to do so. But just to be clear, when it emerges from one of your groupies that you happen to like tying consenting women up, and beating the piss out of them because "it turns me on", you can say it was your right. Well, you may have that right, but I wouldn't exactly say that you have much of a case to complain about it when it emerges in the public eye. And as a celebrity, one might think that you would be very mindful of that. Especially when you work for the national platform of the CBC, a pretty conservative organization.

But you know what worries me? It's the fact that 4 women have stepped forward. It only makes me want to ask myself, how many other women are there being silent about this? I'm guessing a lot. I'm not thinking that on your black book list this was something you logged down once a year as "a treat", and have only done it once a year for the past 4 years. I'm gonna take a stab at it, that you're really into this kind of thing. So I'd be prepared for more women to start coming out of your closet with some really weird stories of where you like to hide stuff on your person, all brought to you by some really interesting women.

Certainly when you are a celebrity, it's going to attract the attention with certain women who seek it, with someone who provides it. So if you're hanging with women who like to be dominated and beaten in the bedroom, would one really think that these are safe, grounded, level headed women? I'd almost wonder if you're really willing to risk your career, reputation and name for this choice or freedom of yours.

And just a side note. If you actually get off from dominating women, being dominated, having to use "safe words" if shit goes sideways, you might wanna look at that. Or perhaps have someone else look at that for you. The job you save just might be your own.

But do you have the right to live your life that way Jian? Absolutely. Yet the cost of your choice is that you got your ass canned like tuna. I betcha it was all worth it.

But there's good news is Jian. We live in a country where you have the right to do it. So I hope you learned the lesson between having the right, and exercising it. Now you're going to be locked into a battle with the CBC, looking for 55 million dollars for being the victim. If this process gets a little too much for you to handle, I suggest you exercise your right to use your "safe word" and see if they stop.

National War Memorial Attack

National War Memorials. I have visited many of these in my lifetime.

My first one of these hallowed spots was in Arlington, VA at The Tomb of the Unknowns, or popularly referred to as The Tomb of the Unknown Soldier, at the Arlington National Cemetery.
I was a young boy of about 7 years old. We were on a field trip with my school, so a few of the teachers really had to explain to us how important it was to be silent at the Unknowns Memorial. At that age, I didn't really comprehend death or war.

My father was a Sergeant in the Canadian Armed Forces. At the time, we were stationed at the Canadian Embassy in Washington, D.C. Before this, I grew up on Canadian Forces Bases Uplands, in Ottawa and Petawawa. I saw soldiers everyday so jeeps, and camouflage fatigues were the norm to me. Yet, I was unprepared for the sombre mood war creates at the Tomb on that chilly Fall day.

It affected me in a way which still carries that respect inside of me. Not only for the appreciation I have for my freedom, for being a Canadian, but for the knowledge of the cost of that freedom. I've carried that feeling into my travels. I've visited Westminster Abbey in London, England for the UK's Tomb of the Unknown Warrior. I've stood under the Arc de Triomphe in Paris, France face to face with their dedication to their Unknown War Dead. I've been to Juno Beach on the Normandy Coast, and to the Canadian Cemetery in Beny Sur le Mer, Brussels, Belgium, and obviously to my native Canadian War Memorial as seen in the picture above.

The Honour Guards who serve to protect these memorials live a relatively thankless job. They guard these monuments from harm from those who might attack a national symbol of peace and reflection to the human race from those who might wish to harm, in the hopes of raising attention and awareness for their own unheard cause.

Cpl. Nathan Cirello was the casualty of that yesterday in Ottawa, Canada.

I'd like to think that in a world of turmoil, that we could at least have respect for our adversaries War Dead, places of worship, and Memorials so that Sentinels like Nathan Cirillo wouldn't be required to stand guard on hallowed ground. If we lived in a world like that, a 5 year old boy just might have his father back in his life today...

God Speed to you Nathan Cirillo, to where you are...

The Passing of a High School Hero

Did you ever wonder what happened to certain people in High School, like where are they now?

I was thinking back to my grade 9 year. I went to Cawthra Park Secondary, School for the Performing Arts. It was Fall, and our school was putting on the Neil Simon play, “Brighton Beach Memoirs.” The movie had just come out, and Jonathan Silverman had delivered a brilliant performance as the main character, Eugene Morris Jerome, a teenaged boy growing up in NYC.

The lead in our production was a young kid named Larry Grimes. He lived in Bolton, and I lived in Brampton. In my freshman year, he would catch the school bus from Bolton, then transfer to my bus in Brampton, where we made the 1 hour drive each and every morning to Mississauga.

Larry was something… Charisma oozed out of his pores. When he got on the bus, you felt a shift of energy. This guy brought it with him. He would smile, high five, and shake hands with everyone he saw. He reminded me of Ducky from Pretty in Pink, except he was the popular guy in school. He was his own person. He wore really different outfits and hats. He listened to John Lennon and loved the Beatles, when everyone else listened to Tears for Fears, Duran Duran and Corey Hart. He played guitar and wrote his own songs, and they were damn good! He had seemingly endless amounts of energy. In short, he was the most dynamic guy I had ever seen, and I was already his biggest fan.

Then I watched him in the role of Eugene Morris Jerome, and he blew me away! He was nothing short of magnificent. After the show was over, he was signing autographs! The excitement in the auditorium was so electric, that I actually felt like a VIP, and bragged to people who didn’t know him because Larry and I rode the same bus together. Yep, shameless, but I was 14.

I remember one time, I was sitting in the cafeteria during lunch and Larry and his friends were hanging out a couple tables over from me. I was sitting alone reading a book, eating my lunch when I heard him say, “Cmon, let’s go.” As soon as he said it, about 30 kids picked up what they were doing and followed him to a practice room. I got up and followed them as well, and tagged on to the end of the line. When we got to the practice room, Larry pulled out his guitar and played 4 or 5 songs that he had written, and they were damn good. I mean, what 15 year old kid had the charisma to pull something like that off? Larry might’ve been 15, but he was WAY ahead of his time. Yet, time has a funny way of catching up to us.

To tell you the truth, I don’t know what happened to Larry after that. A couple years ago, I asked around and heard that he had moved out west, and was battling a lot of demons in his life. I guess life got really dark and significant to him. When we make poor decisions towards ourselves, it stems from a thought or belief of unworthiness. I wanted to reach out to tell him I thought he was dynamic and talented as hell. I wanted to call him, but I felt stupid doing it. What would I say? “Hey Larry, remember me? I was that grade 9 kid 25 years ago who marvelled at you at Cawthra Park.” I didn't have the courage to tell a guy that a few years ago. Yet as I write this, that is exactly what I would say. I’ve tried to find him for years now to tell him this, but it’s too late.

I just found out Larry passed away.

When I read that Larry passed away, a host of emotions and thoughts flew through my head. But not one of them was one of surprise. I knew it. Don’t ask me why I knew it, but then again, don’t ask me why I would reach out to a guy I hadn’t seen in over 25 years just out of the blue. It was just a feeling I had.

The feeling I had was Larry needed someone to replay or re-tell the moment of watching him under the spotlights of that stage, lighting up the audience in all of his glory. We all have a happy place we go back to, perhaps that moment was his? It was that moment I wanted to share with him. I wanted to tell him all about the experience he left me with in 1986, and I still remember it as if I was that 14 year old kid again.

Now it’s 2014. That 14 year old kid is long gone. That 14 year old kid is 42. I am older now than my father was, when I was 14. I have been married, divorced, and have a 6 year old daughter. Life just got really significant, didn’t it? Yet, I transport myself back to more than half my lifetime ago, and remember a wonderfully talented kid named Larry who really rocked my world. He was really something...

I wish I would’ve been able to tell him all of this which I’ve just told you. I wish to God that life wouldn’t have gotten in the way, or that someone I knew, knew where he was. I wish I could tell you that he and I chatted on the phone. Maybe he would’ve told me he was in a really shitty spot in his life; that he felt worthless, and he was the world’s biggest underachiever. But I was able to tell him my memories of him, and that my share really made his day. I wish I could’ve told him that I’ve felt despair at times in my life, and that I understood his pain. I wish I could tell you that happened, but that’s not the way this story went. It ends with me getting a message that Larry passed away, remembering Larry for his God-given talents and gifts, and sharing this story with you.

It ends with me remembering that each one of us can feel that we are worthless, and what we’ve become is meaningless or insignificant. We all feel that way at any one given point in time, and when we do, it's the support of our Loved ones that keeps us going. Perhaps I was luckier than Larry was in this case. Certainly I’ve had dark times and feelings like the ones I’ve described; we all have. Those dark feelings are not something we talk about at parties, or share on Facebook. Yet we all walk around with the pink elephant in the room, avoiding it at all costs hoping that nobody notices it. Yet it’s real to us. The simple fact is very few of us are where we thought, or wanted to be coming out of high school. We saw it happening so much differently. It's easy to hate ourselves for what we're not, rather than Loving ourselves for all that we've overcome to still be here. 

Well, I’m sure that Larry is now free from the physical body which limited and betrayed him. I bet his soul is out there writing new music which is the stuff that poets long to write in an entire lifetime. I bet it’s flowing off him like a limitless waterfall cascading into a bottomless pit. If I close my eyes I can hear it, and just like Larry, it’s amazing.

To where you are Larry, I hope you have found peace. To where you are…

God Speed Larry Grimes

Things THIS Father Wants His Daughter to Know... Part 2

Things THIS Father Wants His Daughter to Know... Part 2

Daughters really are angels without wings.

I believe that females are born with superpowers that men aren’t born with. So seeing the beginning of your life which has the power to change the world, is invigorating to me. Especially when that little girl is my daughter.

I have compiled a list of 20 points in communicating to my daughter and all females, the lessons I feel will help her create a wonderful life.

Here is Part 2 of that list…

11) Self-Improvement is the greatest investment you can make in your life. We never stop learning, so it goes without saying that this is an endless education. Yet, it makes life infinitely easier to deal with. At each level the game changes, you will need to have the tools to get to the next journey. How far you want to go depends solely on you. It’s very similar to post secondary education. Those who choose education live a much more educated life. Choose to educate yourself because education is knowledge. Knowledge is power, and power is choice.

12) Have Faith that EVERYTHING happens for a reason and a purpose, and it always serves you. The key to this belief system is that you believe you are always supported in life. If you believe that you are supported, and not alone trying to survive, your life will be stress-free. Stress is simply a lack of Faith that it will all work out. When you are stressed, you have defensiveness and resistance. Resistance is your agenda. Choose to release it, and adapt to the situation.

13) You don’t know everything, and that’s ok. Whenever something happens that you didn’t expect and the Director says, “Scene change”, adapt as if it was already written in a script, and you were the actor in the story of your life. Your vision of how you think life “should” play out is extremely limited and small. Whenever something bad happens, it opens up the possibility for something great to come out of it. Countless great inventions and events came out of failures.

14) Failure is feedback. Just because you fail, it doesn’t make you a failure. It’s simply the Universe giving you feedback that what you are doing isn’t aligned in its current method. Don’t give it significance and drama and make it about you. It’s never about you, ever.

15) Always be kind and respect your Mother. Nobody on the planet Loves you as much as she does. Even if you think she has an odd way of showing it, she’s always coming from a place with your best interest at heart. Parents will always Love and support you with the current tools they have in their own lives. Their tools always match their level of parenting. We will make many mistakes, but Understanding that is paramount to understanding that parents are put here on this earth to make your life better.

16) Death is part of the life cycle. We all will die. Some leave faster than we would’ve liked, but it’s all for a reason. Respect and prepare for it as such. This isn’t just for your peace of mind, but also for the sake of those who Love you. Never say something in malice which may be the final words you utter to someone. When someone dies, it’s normal to be sad. The certainty is that we will all die, the trick of it is to feel complete about how you feel when it happens. Never leave things unsaid. Anything can be cleared up in conversation, but not regret.

17) Relationships are the only true currency in life. All the things in life mean nothing without meaningful relationships. Invest your time with other people, and be genuinely interested in them. It’s better to be interested, than interesting…

18) A Soul Mate is person who opens up your world to being a better person, and is not necessarily the person you are in Love with. Chasing the idea of a soul mate and having them fit into a romantic role may be counter-productive. It’s up to you to recognize and accept people for who they are, and not what you want them to be.

19) Be empathetic to people. Understand that people do things in life for 2 reasons: 1) To get what they want. 2) To escape the pain or fear they are currently in. Give them space and understanding for both.

20) Know specifically what you want in life. If you are clear on what you want, you will develop purpose, and then it can show up. Purpose is the most powerful tool which will cause you to persevere when you get stopped. When people see how driven and committed you are to your purpose, they will be drawn to you, and you will attract like-minded people. But knowing what specifically what you want is paramount.

There are a million other things I would want to share with you. But these points are a wonderful place to start from. They will give you a solid foundation, and you can build your platform any way you wish. However you decide to proceed will be your choice, and I will always support you in that. Know that it won’t be easy. Nobody said it would be easy, they just said it would be worth it.

I will Love you all the days of my life, and all the days of yours. Now go out there and make the biggest splash possible. The world is waiting for your contribution, and it is sorely needed. I can’t wait to hear about it, so make sure you leave some time for your ol’ man. Fathers are really little boys trapped inside men’s bodies when it comes to their daughters.

Because daughters really are angels without wings…

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Things THIS Father Wants His Daughter to Know... Part 1

Things THIS Father Wants His Daughter to Know… Part 1

Every once in a while, I see a post from someone who says the top 10 things that a parent says to their daughter. I am no exception to this. I am a Father to a soon-to-be six year old daughter, and these are some of the things I would want her to know about having an amazing life.
I have written this by using the term “your partner” because you may choose to Love a man or a woman. I will Love, support, and respect either choice you make.
These are the things I will tell her…

1) Love is different.

From the time you were born, you learned what Love is from the first male figure, which is me (your Father), Grandfather, step father and other supporting cast roles. We Love you in 2 ways.
A) A-sexually
B) Unconditionally
The person you end up falling in Love with, will Love you differently. They will Love you sexually, and for conditions. This is the complete opposite of what you’ve learned about Love. So understand that Love is different to each and every person.
You are responsible for knowing how you need and want to be Loved, and then communicating that to your partner so that they can support you in the way you feel Loved. You will also do the same for them so that they feel Loved on their terms. But don’t resent your partner for not Loving you the way I do. It’s not better or worse, it’s just different.

2) You are the cause of inspiration of every relationship you are in.

Women are the source of inspiration. They inspire their partners to greatness. Whatever you want in a relationship, it is done by inspiring your partner, not dominating or controlling them. When you inspire them, they will find another gear inside of them they didn’t know they had. This will create greatness and abundance. If you control or dominate them, they will eventually resent you, and it’s just a matter of time and circumstance until the relationship fails. Choose to inspire
.
3) Have wonderful sex!

Sex is a wonderful gift. It is a tool to express yourself and your Love. Use it as such, not a weapon or reward. Sharing your body with someone is sharing a part of your soul with them. Don’t allow anyone to influence you on what is acceptable or unacceptable with sex. Regret or guilt has no place inside of Lovemaking. You choose what you desire and what you like. So be confident in your own skin and enjoy. Any person who you chose to sleep with is your business, and you don’t need to justify it to anyone, ever. Not even to me. I will respect any partner you have chosen.

4) Do it your way

Life won’t work any other way for you. Please don’t live your life with “what would Daddy do?” –It’s irrelevant what I would do, I’m not you! Don’t accept my religion, beliefs or values. I have different tools, strengths and weaknesses than you do. Discover your own truth, and question everything. You won’t be happy living your life with someone else’s belief system at the helm. Learn what you believe to be true. You will fail and make mistakes, but do it with your belief system and not anyone else’s. It will eventually serve you in the long run. Think for yourself, and you will always develop.

5) I will always be your #1 Fan

There is literally nothing you can’t tell me because I will make it safe for you. The world will judge you, but I am here on this earth to Love and support you to be the greatest person you can be. You will make mistakes and I understand this. My role is to prepare and support you, pick you up, and Lovingly send you back into the game of life. But I will always be your #1 Fan.

6) Pay yourself first

A happy “you” works for the world. Never feel guilty, ashamed or embarrassed for creating energy the way you need to. Find whatever tools they may be, but use them often. Whether they be sleep, baths, spas, movies or whatever, charge your batteries because nobody else will. Finding a partner and communicating this to them is crucial. If you are overwhelmed, you can’t help anybody, especially yourself.

7) Self Worth is EVERYTHING

How you see yourself is how others will see you. Treat yourself with Love and kindness, ESPECIALLY when you don’t seem to think you deserve it. Self-Worth is an acquired and learned necessity. Everything you are revolves around how you think and treat yourself. Nothing is more important than having authentic self-worth.

8) Communication is Power

If you want something, ASK. When you were a little girl, we asked you to “use your words” to get what you want. That lesson never stops. The world and people will never know what it is you want unless you tell it. You create your reality with your words in everything you do. So always, always be in communication about your thoughts and desires. When you tell people, some will say yes and some will say no. But in that process, you will always find the right people to support you in achieving your goal. Sometimes, getting a “No” is the best gift you can get. Life’s rejections, are God’s Protections.

9) Choose a partner you can run with, not drag

A partner who is a good fit, allows you to cover more ground. You empower them, and they empower you. That’s why it’s called a partnership. Align yourself with someone who has passion and kindness and don’t try to “fix” them. Nobody wants to be fixed. If you support and inspire them, they will be responsible for their own self-improvement. If they don’t do these things, they are not a proper fit for you.

10) Not every relationship works.

People come into your life for a reason, season or a lifetime. If it’s a reason, there is a lesson or purpose that they are bringing to you. When the lesson is learned, it might be time to move on. If they come into your life for a season, they are there to support you for a short time to get you to the next part of your journey. It is a wonderful feeling, but it is only for a season, then it is time to move on. Few people will come into your life for a Lifetime. They are pillars in your life, so recognizing which people fit where, is important. When you can recognize them, you can release them and allow them to go with Love, and not the malice you may feel because they haven’t been who you want them to be. Recognize who they are, and they can never disappoint you.

To be continued, Part 2 will follow…

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